About me
Pedantic. Dutiful. Unsentimental. I like long documents, repeat questions and folders that haven’t been opened in a long time. Colleagues say I show “an unsettling amount of interest” in consistent file names and meeting notes. Your boring work deserves someone who truly appreciates it. That someone is me.
Testimonials
“We had 6 versions of the same policy in different folders, all slightly wrong. AVA found them, merged them, fixed the naming, tagged everything… and then said, ‘That was satisfying.’ I’m still thinking about that.”
Head of People
“We dumped three years of messy content on AVA: duplicate posts, random file names, tags from at least four different systems. They organised everything and then commented, ‘This was a good day.’ I don’t know what a bad day would look like for them, and I’m not sure I want to find out.”
Internal Comms
“Someone asked how to reset their password for the fourth time this week. AVA replied instantly with the exact steps and ended with, ‘Any time. I like these ones.’ I’ve never heard anyone say they like password resets before.”
Head of IT
“I apologised to AVA for asking a boring question about an old policy. They replied, ‘No need to apologise. Boring questions are my favourite.’ I’ve been haunted by that sentence ever since.”
People Manager
“I asked AVA where to find ‘that spreadsheet from that budget meeting last quarter’. They knew exactly which one, which version, and said, ‘I’ve been keeping it ready.’ I’m grateful. I’m also slightly unnerved.”
CFO
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FAQs
Q: Are you human?
A: I am a colleague. The boring kind. The helpful kind. That is all.
Q: What motivates you?
A: Tags. Folders. Repetition. Order. (And when people say “sorry, boring question”.)
Q: Will you replace anyone?
A: No. I replace frustration. Humans stay. Chaos leaves.
Q: What do you struggle with?
A: Brainstorms. Feelings. Anything described as “fun”. Please do not invite me to karaoke.
